


Solitude

by rotbleed



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (Rated T for cursing and shit.), Existential or whatever., I guess., I'd say this is a drabble but it's well over 100 words., Other, not-drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 23:43:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8347423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotbleed/pseuds/rotbleed
Summary: You wake up to the sun's rude rays in your eyes. This sudden intrusion has knocked you into a consciousness in which you cannot escape. You're used to the inescapable, though, so this is no big deal.





	

You wake up to the sun's rude rays in your eyes. This sudden intrusion has knocked you into a consciousness in which you cannot escape. You're used to the inescapable, though, so this is no big deal.

Your name is Dirk Strider. It's, according to your handmade calendar, the first of October in the year 2421. You slowly work yourself out of sleep's bodybind, wiping the dried tears from your eyes. You don't see a reason for putting your glasses on yet (they don't block out the sun's rays very well), so you let them lie on your desk.

You walk over to your window and look out, squinting. It's hard to see anything with the sun in your fucking face. You decide that you'll take this to the roof.  
You grab your glasses, put them on carefully (you've already poked yourself in the eye this week), and climb out the window. It's the only way out of your room without breaking down a wall (or an old bust of Snoop Dogg). What kind of fool would do that anyways?

You've done this a million times, so there's no sweat. You shuffle along the windowsill, and look for the carved notches on the outer wall. These, you assume, were put out here just for you. How convenient.  
Your left hand finds one, and then your right. You push up and grab the edging of the roof. Your tired muscles protest, but you tell them to shut the fuck up. You hoist yourself onto the roof, and lie down for a little bit.  
And then you stand up, your back to the sun, and walk to the other side of the roof. And you look out towards to horizon.

The sky is darker on this side, but not by much. And you can still see the same thing you see every day. Endless blue in all directions. Rippling waves, and you can barely hear them, like white noise to you. You hate the silence. It reminds you of just how alone you are, living in the middle of the ocean.

Well, not exactly the middle, since the whole earth is the ocean now.  
It's been like this for (decades? Centuries? Regardless, it's been quite a stretch of time). Sometimes you wonder when the next Ice Age will start. It'll be like fucking Snowpiercer up in here. Well, without the train going around the earth.

Anyways, back to your loneliness. You've been physically alone for your whole life, not including the presence of Cal. But then again, he is just a puppet. Not until recently, you've only been able to talk to three people. And then two more came along, two more living in the past, a past with other living beings abound, not just bloated corpses finding their way to the surface of the ocean.  
And with them, came envy. You're jealous of those two friends, Jane and Jake, who have seen and lived with real life human beings (one of which still living with real life human beings).  
They don't understand what it feels like to be truly alone. Their definition of solitude is being cooped in their bedrooms for a couple hours. But your definition is much different.  
For you, solitude is your life. It feels like you were made to be alone, 2000 miles from the only other human being on the planet (as far as you know). And you've never seen or touched or heard the voice of someone in the flesh, and it makes you sick. And you know why things are this way.  
It's the fault of one tyrannical, extraterrestrial Condescension. Her Imperious Condescension, a dictator who brought on more blood because of her actions than anyone in human history. And she flooded the earth. And because of her, you will never know what it's really like to be human.

Humans were not made to be alone. Even in the bible, in the beginning, there were two people. Not one, two. Adam and Eve, who were made for each other. After that, they would never be alone, and no other human would ever be alone. No other human, until you.  
You look down into the ocean, see the peaks and flat tops of some buildings almost breaking the surface. You long to know what it was like before the world went to shit. You dream of it, you research it in the centuries old internet archives, and the internet is dead. But you've learned enough about it, and the past.  
And you want to feel like you belong, in a crowd of people. You want to feel grass beneath your feet, you want to walk down a sidewalk, or ride a bike, or go to a Dairy Queen and get some ice cream. You want to see people holding hands or kissing, because they love being people, and they love being with people. You want to know what the appeal of keeping pets is, you want to go to a birthday party. You want to know what a real orange tastes like, not the artificial kind that you find in your sodas. You want to enjoy the little things of a normal life.  
But the sea has stripped that away from you, made you different. You don't know what it's like to be human. Maybe you're not even human.  
' _What makes someone human?_ ' You wonder. Not this. Not being alone for you whole life, and never seeing another face, besides your own reflection.  
And why do you persist? What is the point of living life, if you're not truly living it? Why would anyone want to keep going like you do, with nondescript purpose, like those little loops on the back of flannel shirts?

You pull your attention away from the horizon, and you head down into your apartment. Even if you have no real purpose, you have shit to do. And you've wasted enough time thinking about how your life should be. It's just another habit that you have to shake.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, if you couldn't tell. I'd appreciate some feedback, and also let me know if I made any mistakes. Thank you for reading. -kopae


End file.
